The fight

This is purely to vent a little. It’s been a rough 14 days or so.  Max has been waking up 2 to 3 times a week at 3am.  In order to slow him down on the breast feeding, I go in, so Nicole doesn’t have too, otherwise it’s just torture for the poor guy thinking he’s getting some boob.  So I’ve been tired, and very emotional.  Lately, I feel like life has been fucking me hard.  It’s starting to hurt.  Use some lube.  I’m not normally one to complain but there are things happening that take the control away from a person.  It’s boils down to 2 things.  This is about my artistic life and my family life.  I get mad when my artistic life is messed with but you really don’t want to mess with my family life, that’s a maniamal instinct.  I’m a manimal.  I have a post I’ve been working on for a while that details some of it but, due to various reasons, I don’t want to post it yet.  I will soon.  The other thing is that yesterday I went to traffic court for something I didn’t do, and when I say I didn’t do it, I don’t mean I was in the right and the cop was in the wrong.  I wasn’t even driving my car.  I was miles away.  Our mechanic fixed our car and then took it around the block for a test drive.  When he did he apparently made a wrong turn of some kind and a cop got our plates.  Yesterday was our court date, and I’m not sure what I expected, but somehow I thought it would be settled right then and there.  Not so.  It must go to trail.  I must go back in July, bringing our mechanic, that and the cop needs to be there.  The amazing thing is that I have no control over any of this.  None.  I have to go through these things.  Miss work.  Drag our mechanic out of work.  All of it and I was not even there.  We can’t just have him pay it because it will totally mess up our insurance so we are fighting it until there is nothing to fight.  I’m tired.  Not just from the kid.  I’m tired of fighting.  Some days it feels like that’s all there is.  Just fight.              

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